Turning 30 on Aug 30

So, this Aug 30, I turned 30 years old. Of course, as I type it, it seems like a huge number. And usually when you have a milestone birthday (like 30s, 40s or even 25th, 35th etc), you are asked by others or yourself – how do you feel about turning this age?

I have some mixed thoughts on hitting this milestone year. I will try to break them down into understandable points, for myself as well as the reader. 🙂

First of all, a very obvious thought, which I think many people will relate to – I feel that life is running past us. As a 30-year old, shouldn’t I have had done more? Now, just to be clear, I am not someone who usually undermines their achievements or efforts. If anything, I am always applauding myself even for small achievements but, at the same time, I am also someone who would feel a whole lot more fulfilled if they can check on some typical success metrics (this may have something to do with how I was raised – my mom takes very little downtime and it’s so hard to convince her that relaxation is not a bad thing). Therefore, when I think that I have turned 30, a rush of things come to my mind – things that I should have done by now, but haven’t. I am also trying better to not measure life in checklists. In the end, it doesn’t matter, what usually bothers oneself is their own fomo and what if you get over the idea of fomo? A lot more happiness I guess. (Can’t believe I used fomo in a post about turning 30).

Secondly, age is not just a number. Let me explain myself before any bricks are thrown at me. I completely understand and agree to the context when people use “age is just a number”. What they mean is that there’s no age to do anything. You can find love at 60, become a painter suddenly at 30 etc etc. I fully agree to this thought. But it doesn’t change the simple maths that at any of these points in life, you are that many years old. There is only a certain number of years you would live from an average life expectancy standpoint. I really, really don’t want this to sound depressing and, trust me, I am not depressed while typing this out. I just feel that age is not just a number and it is indicative of how much of your life has already been lived. To take this indication in a helpful manner though, we can take a conscious call to not let age dictate what we want to do anyway!

The second point brings me to my third point – I feel a whole lot secure of myself as I age. This is one of the greatest benefits of ageing and I know many of my friends relate to this. I feel a lot more sure of myself, my wants, a lot more open to be myself in a crowd and this is something that I expect will improve even more in the coming years. I also have a lot less fucks to give to people who don’t matter (in fact, I expected more improvement in this area by now). Again something I hope will improve further as we age.

Lastly, I didn’t want to end this post without mentioning how my birthday went. I was at my in-laws place (fun fact – coincidentally all my birthdays post marriage have been with my in-laws and it’s a complete coincidence as we don’t live together). We had the usual cake cutting at midnight with some cute birthday decor. Btw, I abhor this midnight cake cutting concept now unless you are partying for the birthday. I mean if you are staying awake anyway for partying or anything else, then cut the cake at midnight. Otherwise, whyyyyyy? Also, I am a complete balloon lover but have given up on using them since they are non biodegradable. My SIL insists on having decor on my birthdays but I am totally against balloons now as I don’t miss their presence in my life at all. Can be easily given up. They did make for great pictures though! Sharing one below. I did another cake cutting with some cute kids in the evening next day. Apart from this, I got a lot of gifts from cute friends and family. I feel extremely loved when someone remembers the books I wanted to buy and loved having all the gifts I got this birthday – a Harry Potter illustrated edition for me to start my Harry Potter journey along with another book I wanted and some awesome lipsticks from Moksha, a pair of gold earrings from mil, some cute pendants from Khushi and a beautiful outfit by sil. All lovely, fun things. It was also janmashtami on the same day this time and it usually is a big deal as my sil and her husband are pretty religious, we participated in a dance during the janmashtami function and that was quite fun too!

I dedicated many minutes over many days on how I would have wanted to celebrate my 30th birthday and here’s the deal – the reason I thought so much about it is because I like doing something special on my birthday but it’s mostly because I don’t want to regret later about not doing something special :D. So, my ideal birthday would be to be on a holiday or a staycation or having a party with my close friends only if I can be sure that people will just chill and have a good time without making a big deal about birthday specific attention (that gets formal and irritating). This birthday too I had wanted to go for a couple spa (I haven’t got a spa done ever btw, hair spa doesn’t count). On the actual birthday, I didn’t feel like going for it, so that’s pending too. So much for seizing the moment and we only live once quotes😛.

How do you like spending your birthdays? Also, any thoughts on ageing are welcome 🙂

Edit: totally forgot to mention this gorgeous cake that my sil got made 🙂

Small Joys

There’s a juice shop right below my parents condominium. In winters, we often go there in afternoons to get a glass of carrot juice each. Now this incident happened really long ago, I mean so long ago that I am sure it was pre-covid. I remember thinking at that time that this needs to go on the blog today itself. And here I am, posting about it today. 😀

When I went to the juice shop with my mom, two tiny kids who were rag picking were just passing by. I asked them to come over and have the juice. I can’t tell you the look of happiness I saw on their faces. I had tears in my eyes. I just somehow controlled myself so that it doesn’t get awkward. Their happiness was the sort of unadulterated one that makes it contagious honestly! And then, something even better happened, when I was paying the juice shop person, he didn’t charge me in full for their juices and actually gave the two kids a little extra than the standard glass. It’s like you did a tiny thing and the world joined you in making it ten thousand times better.

Living in India, you become so used to coming across the income disparity instances so often, well, ‘used to’ is not the right word because every instance in daily life makes you feel uncomfortable but more often than not, you just move on with your life. These tiny pockets maybe rare but it definitely made my day a whole lot brighter. Like I mentioned, this incident was definitely pre-covid and I still remember it so vividly because of the joy it brought!

Thoughts in the time of a Pandemic

As I sit from the comfort of my bed with my husband lying next to me, at my parents’ place, cannot help but think of the innumerable businesses (personal & professional) that are rendered helpless. (My husband works in travel & tourism industry, by the way). Above all this gloom related to Corona however is the worry of a family member being critically ill. Just like a million questions & thoughts are going through everybody’s heads at this time, I decided to pen down my own:

  1. Topmost in my wishes & hopes remain my family member’s recovery. Please pray for my mamaji’s recovery if you are reading this.
  2. Is there any hope for the weakest in our society in the times of this crisis? Other than donating, not cutting salaries of your house helps, what significant difference can one make?
  3. If you haven’t already, do read this article & share your thoughts in the comments. Would love to understand the article more properly should anyone care to help me. 🙂
  4. How scary it must be to be in a hospital right now as a patient or accompanying them, not to mention our front fighters. We owe them big time.
  5. I see so many quarantine & chill or making most of these times kind of posts on Instagram all the time. I enjoy them so much, seeing people paint, cook & a lot of other fun things, BUT SERIOUSLY PEOPLE HOW DO Y’ALL HAVE THIS TIME? IS YOUR WORK FROM HOME NOTHING LIKE MINE? I am literally dreading Monday in 10 mins just like I would have without the lockdown.
  6. I am reading less than regular. Before you read the next sentence, can you guess why? Because turns out most of my reading happened in commute. Oh, well. Its nothing short of an interesting revelation for me. 🙂
  7. Am I ever going to write my wedding posts on this blog like I always intended to when I was far away from getting married & all? Its almost going to be a year and I never thought that I’ll not jot down much about my wedding here until I realized that’s exactly what I have done so far. However, I do know its not laziness. It’s something else, a mixed bag of few things – it’s too personal & I have always struggled with writing personal stuff, I want to make sure its articulated correctly, I am scared of people who know me in real life reading it (don’t know why though, they anyway know the stuff right?).
  8. Take care. Stay at home, in whatever way home has manifested itself for you & be safe. 🙂

On taking up space

These days I have begun to make a note of things I would later write on, on the blog. This is one topic I thought of really long ago when I noticed it in a colleague. I have been meaning to write about it since then.

Be warned that this may not go anywhere by the end, I expect interactive comments which actually may help me align my thoughts. 🙂

So, as I was saying, some people (as in their personality) take up a lot of space. They don’t realize how much they are invading the general public space of a social setting (does that make sense?) & how much they might be invading someone’s personal space. Now I sit here & wonder that if this feels uncomfortable to me, someone who is not even a quiet or introverted person around, then just how much more uncomfortable would it be making the shy/introvert people. I see that people are habitual of talking loudly, coming too close while talking or question others without realizing their rudeness. Now if you talk to someone at work about me, you may feel that even I tend to get rude with people, e.g. when I am chasing for something since long, or when i detect lies, but that’s that. I am so conscious of being in someone else’s space physically at work. So, I definitely do not come close while talking etc.

Now where am I going with this? As I said, nowhere really. I would actually like your thoughts to help me get somewhere. But my key point remains that if some of us are so conscious about our work behaviour, then why do some others do not even give a flying f*ck about the invasion they may be causing!

82| Feb March Roundup

How have you all been?

I think the everyday a blog post thing is not happening. But, but, I am still glad that it’s forcing me to write as much as possible, which was the idea anyway.

I moved back to Delhi from Bangalore on 15th February. As expected, its been a whirlwind since then. I expected it mostly because of personal work that I and my family had to take care of post my move back. However, I was quite not ready for the hectic life that my new job would lead to. Not complaining though, its good so far. 🙂 I am hoping for a content and happy year!

Would love to hear from you, how things are at your respective ends. 🙂

31|Of Regrets and letting it all go

It is absolutely unnecessary to fixate on regrets, as far as I am concerned. I see a lot of people, including myself, going back and forth on the mistakes they have made. Honestly, I not so much because I am not into the habit of wanting to go back in time and change a lot. However, this post is about how much people fixate about their regrets and mistakes. I mean shouldn’t you be rather happy that you are aware about your mistake? So much you can take from that for the future experiences.

Honestly, whatever mistakes I committed in the past, their consequences also I have already bore. Or I am in the process of bearing. So might as well chill. I think all of us need to let it go. If someone asks what would I change by going back in time, nothing really. I would have to really think hard to find something like that. I guess more people can learn from me. 😛