Few days back, I was talking to my friend (Moksha who blogs here by the way) that how I am craving to shop. I think she knows this much about me and those who don’t, I think it’s important for this post that I mention – I have never been an impulsive shopper. Even as a teenager, I liked being mindful of my purchases.
However, that day, as I was mentioning to her, I felt like shopping a lot of new clothes, makeup etc etc. Obviously, I didn’t give in but after that I got covid and I had to order a coloring book and some colors here at my parents place which made me feel good. Even buying a new moisturizer made me feel good.
But coming back to the original point, when I mentioned to Moksha that I feel like shopping, she happened to mention that she, on the contrary, feels like “what’s even the point of anything”. She meant it in the covid context, how everything feels pointless these days and while I understood and felt very sad, I had not felt that until then since Mar’20 which is a big deal in today’s time. I did consider myself lucky for not feeling that way. And then, covid happened. Now I know that this feeling of pointlessness has not got to do much with the fact whether you have had covid or not. You can feel this and millions around the world are feeling this without getting covid because that’s the sort of situation we are in. But, for me, it happened due to catching covid. Now is the first time since this whole pandemic began for us that I am feeling this way. I do a lot of stuff in my quarantine to keep myself occupied. Honestly, even before I got covid, I was taking pictures to post on “What I am doing when I am not doomscrolling on insta”. I am genuinely thankful for all these things. But, truly, the feeling of pointlessness is now hitting home. I am positive of not feeling this way once I join back work ( I never thought that I would say this but, yes, I think it will help).
What are you doing? If you are in India, do share your thoughts on how have you been dealing with this second wave.
Last few days have been tough. Last Sunday Rahul and I came to my parents place because it was getting difficult to manage on our own with covid. My mom had just recovered at our place and went back to her home due to my father catching covid there. So it was not like we were adding to any risks by going there. so glad that we came because the next day my SPO2 levels started falling. This past week has all been about sleeping with concentrators all night and feeling better in the morning therefore. I am so so so thankful to friends and family who helped me get it. And I am even more thankful that I didn’t have to go to a hospital . Not sure if it’s the sensible thing to do, but I managed.
For now, I am facing breathlessness issues as soon as I get up from my bed. Rahul and my dad are doing fine except the weakness.
Doing better physically even though fever is still at 102. Cough and cold situation is also better than yesterday.
Today I got my blood tests done, and typical to my nature of crying at the site of needles, I made the testing person super uncomfortable with my behaviour. Still he tried being nice. 😀 It didn’t hurt at all which is another reminder that I don’t need to be the physical stuff fearful person that I am. But I don’t learn in this department.
The title makes no sense as we haven’t stepped out from home since I don’t even remember when. Only for mom’s medicines.
Today Rahul and I both tested negative and both are running high fevers and cough. Doc has mentioned that it’s a false negative. The good thing is that we don’t have to isolate in separate rooms now (which is why the title change) and can manage food etc better. Although I do miss my isolation coz then I was less bothered about messiness around the house.
Another family member is critical and I am just Hoping that all this is over soon & he comes back home sound and safe.
Should have written this during the day when I still had mild fever and a lot more energy. Now I am able to relate in a more physical fashion what my mom was going through when she slept for 12 hours straight in initial days of covid and this is a woman who take so less sleep.
I am doing okay for now except the fever and cough, but my main worry is that my dad who is also down with covid right now and my cousin brother, both of these people are running high temperatures which doesn’t go away even after taking fever meds. Can’t imagine how they are managing the bechaini (restlessness) which comes with constant high temperatures.
Just hoping that we all get better soon at home only and this corona wave is over soon.
The last time I got isolated was mid 2020 when kanwar tested positive and I had shared a maggi with him (this picture is from the maggi sharing day). Honestly, it felt like a vacation at the time coz I was isolated with Rahul and it felt like we are in a hotel room chilling. My MIL constantly sharing snacks and meals taken care of only added to the experience. Not to mention, we had no symptoms and our tests also came negative.
This time, though, as I begin my days in isolation and hopefully get recovered soon, I will try to document this as much as I can comfortably.