memories

March Update

/ Srishty / 1 Comment

It has been such a topsy turvy month. There is so much that has ensued that I don’t have the energy left to do a proper low down of March.

But it deserves a post to go in the history of my life as an important month, so here you go.

The initial part of the month was all okay, and my regular programming. I made a note to share here that I tried a new Greek restaurant, ‘Ryba’, near my place which i liked decent enough. At the time of making that note, I didn’t know it would become a special date for me and my husband, but more on that later.

After this, I embarked on my work trip. If i hadn’t made it clear before, I hate work trips to the core and if you are a long time follower of the blog, you would know that I didn’t used to like them even when as a young, 20 something I got them as a foreign travel opportunity. This one I especially hated because it went on longer than I wanted and expected and without much of a motive. I am still there in Bombay now on my work trip, but since it’s closer to my in-laws family, I did visit them in between which was good.

apart from this, i am missing my place terribly and there are some pretty life-changing things that March brought but I’ll dedicate separate posts to them.

hope you all are doing good, would love to know more!

How is my December going?

/ Srishty / 1 Comment

December is usually that time of the year when I get extra finnicky about completely more books, writing more blog posts etc. This December is no different, albeit a lot has ensued that made things unplanned and left me with less opportunity for such slow living activities. I am going to talk about those and then also mention about what activities I would like to do more in the 10 days remaining.

First of all, my nani (maternal grandmother) passed away, ever so suddenly. She was old and not keeping well, but those were typical old age problems and we certainly didn’t foresee any such thing. She had a cardiac arrest at her home, after which she was hospitalized and was on ventilator for couple of days before she took her last breath. In my view, she led a full life, except that her old age was not as good as it should be for someone of her candor. What I mean is that her two most important traits – saying anything at any time and being a super hardworking person who can never sit still – both got affected as she grew old. Everyone kept sensitizing her about speaking random things (which also becomes common as you age I guess) and due to her health, she wasn’t able to do a lot. What I also feel bad is that she struggled on the ventilator for those last two days, I mean every time that happens with anyone, post death we feel that wish they didn’t have to struggle in the hospital, right? However, what truly hurts is how less I spoke to her on phone in the past years. She had a good relationship with all her grandchildren and I used to meet her often. However, I know she expected phone calls which I didn’t make and the funny thing is I randomly used to think how I should call her more often but just didn’t. One thing I am sure everyone is glad for is that she attended the wedding I spoke about here. It was important for her in more ways than one. I hope she is happy wherever she is. ❤

Secondly, I had another wedding to attend from my husband’s side of the family which was almost at the same time as what I just mentioned. I wasn’t able to enjoy the wedding as much as I had hoped to, however, overall it was good. I’ll soon post a dance video from the wedding on my Instagram, you can follow me there if you would like that. 🙂

Last but not the least, I have some random stuff going on that takes up my time which I didn’t account for. Few examples – some visits from family members, filing my tax proofs, planning for a trip that eventually got cancelled 😦 and, the worst of all, I am yet to file expenses from my last business trip which was almost two months ago. I better get to it if I don’t want to invite trouble.

Things I would want to do more of in December:

  1. Eat better – more winter greens, less carbs, less alcohol 😀 that’s the motto but it seems like a task not meant for December 😀
  2. Spend more time in the winter sun
  3. Something that comes naturally to me but these days it isn’t – read more
  4. Most important which would also make #3 happen – reduce phone addiction
  5. Write more blog posts (especially some yearly round up ones)

How is your December going?

If you liked this, check out more of my latest posts:

Things about Rahul I never want to forget #1

/ Srishty / 5 Comments

Disclaimer: I have copied the idea for this series from Haathi Time (who has now made her blog private) and I have taken permission from her to use the same title as hers. This series is about day-to-day things that my husband ends up doing which turn out profound for me and I would like to recall them here. The first one in the series which happened in 2018 & is since in my drafts:

This is about the time I was sent abroad on a business trip. I am not mentioning the place on purpose to keep identity of people involved ambiguous (some of my friends from those days read this space).

Okay, so, I mentioned business ‘trip’ because it was too sudden and proposed to me as a short stint. I realized upon going there that this could go long and, as it later turned out, I had to actively try to not let it be permanent. The reason I am mentioning all of this is to highlight the fact that I wasn’t super ready to move at that time and I had just been out of another situation where I felt depressed due to being lonely while working in a foreign city. This time, I had mentally prepared myself to enjoy the most and have a great time. That last situation had made me a stronger person and also someone who treats such opportunities with respect. Instead of being sad, I was all ready to have a good time and I was open to forging some genuine friendships. It later proved to be a very memorable experience where I met some amazing people and the only regret I have is of not being this open in my previous similar stint.

As I was saying, this time was going very well and I was always open to meet new people when on one of these days, I got invited to a casual hangout at a bar with some office colleagues. Now this was a setting where all the people were a bit older than me and there was no other female. Just to be clear – the no female or the age thing matters to me only when I am in a group of almost strangers or acquaintances. This was a case of acquaintances and since it’s colleagues, you don’t want to be in a weird situation later on.

It was no big deal either way, whether I went or not. It was only a casual hangout. But when you are on your own in a new place where you are yet to have your comfort zone friends, you treat every social interaction with new people with a dubious eye. I was planning to cancel as I didn’t want to have any sort of embarrassing or weird situation with older colleagues to come out of this. Before cancelling, I just thought of calling Rahul up to talk about this and this is what I said – “I am thinking of not going, as these people are older than me. What would they think if I go out drinking with them? What if I end up saying something that would make me an office joke or something?”

And this is what Rahul had to say – “How does it matter? If they think anything bad of you, that means their mind is skewed a certain way. What are you so worried for?”

And this has stayed with me. I know, I know, these are very simple things to say but things that I end up forgetting a lot too. In that moment, this talk made me very aware of the fact that we let people get away with being judgmental and impact our life decisions. I wanted to go because I wanted to have a good time but the fear of being judged wasn’t letting me. In hindsight, I think one thing I admire the most about Rahul is his security in being himself, he will not act a certain way just because he is in a certain setting. (it’s a different story that he will go completely mum when he doesn’t like the setting). But I admire his comfort with being himself while people can judge all they want. 🙂

Anniversary Letters to Rahul | 2

/ Srishty / Leave a comment

Can’t believe it’s already time for letter 2. Mar’20 to Mar’21 has been one large limbo and then it is second wave of corona which has India again. This pandemic seems to be taking it all this time. Rahul and I have celebrated all our anniversaries in lockdowns until now, 2 years of being married and 2 years of lockdown anniversaries. ❤️

Oh well, still can’t be enough thankful for everything that I have. For health of loved ones, for being by your side and the fact that you can get an award for tolerating me among all this!

I love you and I cherish every moment with you, including the silly fights on broken aquaguards. Thanks for existing and coming into my life. Stay.

Love,

Your wife

Blogmas Day 4 | oh what an year!

/ Srishty / 1 Comment

Blogmas is allowed till 31st Dec in my books, so this shall continue.

Saying that this year has been a whirlwind of challenges, emotions and events for anyone is an understatement, because everyone around the globe felt this emotion this year.

I write this with a lot of privilege that I work in a job that allowed me the same kind of growth as I would have expected if it was a non-corona year and my life was much easier than a lot, lot of people in my country.

Besides, I honestly love working from home. Even though it means super stretched working hours and a loss of personal life, I like the idea of not rushing to an office and working in a typical work setting. The only aspect I miss of that is dressing up for work.

Being grateful for a comfortable existence, there is still a major part of my daily life that corona changed. On 19th March 2020, we had just started working from home when offices started taking the work-from-home route due to Covid. A friend of ours was staying with I and my husband as well, whose parents coincidentally live close to my parents place. As the weekend came, we thought who knows what happens in lockdown so let’s go to our respective parents places and off we went. Then, bam! it was lockdown and 4-5 months passed away. I think lockdown was a very good opportunity to be near to your parents as a routine and that felt so good but eventually we also started itching to be at our own place and it felt distant to be able to do so. Finally we managed to travel to Gurgaon to my and my husband’s place. The plan was to stay at our place for sometime and then travel to Rahul’s parents place in Surat (again, so that we can spend time with parents in this wfh scenario). We came to Surat on 8th Aug. We had planned to stay here for 2-3 months but my father in law was diagnosed with a critical disease and with the fluctuations in his condition every now and then we were in two minds in November whether we should travel back to Delhi or not. Actually it was a very close friend’s wedding in November which we didn’t want to skip (we were really hoping that it doesn’t happen during the covid times), the uncertainty to book or not to book delhi tickets continued and finally we went off. Within 2 weeks of being in Delhi, Rahul’s dad’s condition got worse and therefore we had to immediately travel back to Surat. So, now, here we are and in this entire ‘Corona kaal’ or the corona time that began from Mar’20 in India, we have lived in Gurgaon for a sum total of 20 days maybe. There is nothing I actually we miss more than being able to spend some time in my home, life as we used to know it. The worst part being not knowing when this uncertainty is over. Given the work from home situation, it’s also difficult to make parents understand the need for us to be in our own space. They don’t realize that this is what we maybe wanting.

I just thought I’ll log down here few things I miss from my life. Strange that this was our home for less than a year but still it feels so difficult to be away from it. I guess it’s because it was our first home together as a married couple –

– I miss being able to casually stroll in Galleria. It’s one of the cutest markets ever, and it’s right next to my place. It has a very fairytale setting.

– I even miss browsing Milkbasket, a grocery app in Gurgaon which delivers stuff at your doorstep the next morning. It always has some or the other new launch and it’s fun to browse and try out a new bread or some snack the next day!

– Coincidentally some of my closest friends happen to be in Gurgaon and I miss our casual as well as planned hangouts.

– I remember how much we liked chilling or having breakfast in our balcony under the winter Sun last year. I miss being able to do that!

– I miss just being. Plopping on my couch and watching tv with Rahul. We lucked out on a really nice apartment and I feel like I haven’t used it all that much yet, and it may soon be time to find another place due to x or y reason. 😔

I miss admiring my beautiful bookshelf and dresser and dining table.

I know all this is nothing compared to what many had to go through. Wishing health and happiness for all!

How has 2020 treated you? Share your silliest as well as your deepest thoughts!

Of loss and never getting closures

/ Srishty / 3 Comments

I love getting closures. I hate that movies/short films and more of such content is increasingly making it a thing to leave endings open & to ‘viewers discretion’. Like, hell no! You tell me what you wanted as an ending, dear content creator!

And what is that one thing that never gives you closure? Death. And more so, if you know just how much the person had the will to live. I broke down today watching a year old memories in my wedding video & everything about this unfortunate happening came rushing. In hindsight (of a couple of hours only :)), I feel such break downs are much needed to become more accepting of the loss. However, loss is one and closure is another. You never get this closure that this person wanted & expected life differently, he was so looking forward to getting better & going back to his life, had not given up & that was the ray of hope his near & dear ones held to. This is a fact that will not change. All we can do is hope that he is in a better place.

This break down is what triggered my post but I also started thinking of other instances of never getting closures, well, not never, but mostly. The most obvious one I thought of was lost friendships. Not the ones where you ‘lose touch’, although those can count too. But I specifically mean the ones where something just snaps off and neither of the parties ever try to fix it. It has happened to me a couple of times and it does hurt a lot.

Life would be much better with closures, but if there was a list of things where it would be nicer to have closures, death would top that list.

I hadn’t expected myself to write back here with a gloomy post, but it is what it is. Quarantine life has been so freaking busy with work life having no boundaries, that the little me time that I get is spent just being a potato. Writing never makes the cut. Monday blues hit harder and stay on till Saturday 😥 and I think I need to have a plan to make things better for myself.