A Busy November Update

I knew since a long time that I am going to have a busy November. I looked up to it with every ounce of excitement. You know why, right? Its the wedding season in India and that is kind of my favorite “festive” period. 😀

However, November turned out to be busier that I expected and it meant a truck load of work for me before I even get to the point of piling on Gol Gappas in Indian weddings.

I am going to write everything that down in November below. If it sounds like a lot on top of a full time job, that’s because it.

So, it started with my SIL’s family and MIL visiting us impromptu. Basically, they were on a trip to Rishikesh and Badrinath and we were asking them to take a halt while going back to Surat. They initially didn’t agree and eventually ended up making an impromptu halt. We were just back from a wedding right then and since my SIL was staying over properly for the first time, it was less of a chill family time at home and more of a tourist-y going around the city. Hence, it got a busy week.

Right when it ended, I had a business trip to Vietnam again. On my way back, I ended up missing my flight because of some fuck up and even my luggage didn’t arrive on time. It was truly a bad day, that i didn’t see coming at all. 😦 I was howling on the airport like an idiot.

To top it all, long ago I had decided to take over a fun but very time intensive task of hand painting a sari for my cousin who’s getting married in a few days from now on. Of course, I knew how happy I would be doing this task and how happy she would be too, but I so didn’t see it for the effort it requires. 😀 Also, I didn’t manage to even start on it until I came back from Vietnam. I had all these months I mean, but still. I am happy that I didn’t let this ambition die a slow death and did use my previous weekend entirely for doing this start to finish. There’s a sneak peek for you at the end.

I would also say I had a very fulfilling busy November, because as long as its not irritating or monotonous work making me busy, I am up for it sometimes. 😀

But what did I miss out on due to the busy November?

  1. I haven’t been reading at all, like at all since probably more than 2 months. This is what happens when I get into the loop of a boring book. Instead of pulling myself out with an alternative, I just continue being the phone addict that I am.
  2. With busyness comes the drive to avoid working out as much as possible and I have been successful in that. Not gonna see me in that jawline I wanted for the weddings I guess. 😀
  3. As expected, this blog suffered the most. I obviously didn’t do any of the planned posts in a long while, but more importantly, I am lagging behind in my book posts. Something I am going to regret the most if not done on time. It matters a lot to me that I get in all the book posts before the year ends.
  4. Getting a new outfit: Please don’t be too quick to judge that I am one of those tone deaf people who get a new outfit whenever they have an event to attend (I know I sound more judge-y than you :P). In fact, I have managed to take a lot of use out of my wedding trousseau but that’s also the reason why I had planned on getting a new outfit this time. I buy anything after a lot of thinking, so I had some specific ideas in mind. I didn’t get the time and frankly I was lazy. So, I am just going to re-wear a lot of outfits which I love, but I have been sort of bored with, since I have attended a lot of weddings and stuff since my own.

If you made it till here, give me your November update. 😀

A sneak peek of the hand-painted organza sari 😀

Anniversary Letters to Rahul | 3

Keeping up with my procrastination tradition, writing this 3 days after my wedding anniversary. 🙈

Also, i think it’s going to be more of a blog post this year than a letter form. As i think i am addressing it more as a broadcast message, rather than a letter to him. Does this mean i should change the tradition to make it more private? I don’t know, we will see that next year.

So, i was discussing with Rahul what to write to him this year as otherwise it may end up similar to last year and he just randomly mentioned a gibberish point i should highlight – this year I started wearing leopard print pyjamas! Totally unrelated, but i got gifted a set of animal print pyjamas by someone on my anniversary and i didn’t have the heart to tell them to exchange it. Also, i was in need of new night wear so i just went ahead with wearing it. As you may have guessed, i hate animal prints, so it’s quite a new thing for me and Rahul made sure to highlight it as a “new” thing. That boy noticing clothes or the discomfort with them is a big and fun deal! 😀

Gibberish aside, it’s worth mentioning few things i cherish the most in this relationship. So, here’s to that:

1. I feel like the luckiest person when I realize that for helping each other’s growth as we physically grow in age, we are okay to critique anything we notice the other doing wrong. I know it sounds petty that I noticed it by observing other people when they kind of continue entertaining their partners immaturity to avoid confrontation, but it still made me be thankful for the honesty in this relationship.

2. Despite the first point, i know you will always be there to calm me when even something totally irrational is bothering me. Of course, you will have to hear it from me that you are not empathetic as you don’t relate, but then it must be even more difficult for someone to do what you do when you don’t relate.

3. I am more than grateful for all the trips we took together. The means to take them, the fact that we managed to do some of those on whim and the rest, just truly grateful. Only a side note for you – be as excited as me about food 😀

4. Just like last year, it’s important to mention what truly makes my life better. It sounds very text book like, but it’s true that the little things on a daily basis is what matters – walks at night, snatching common time during office hours to grab a cup of tea together, oiling each other’s hair, watching stuff together.

5. as i keep saying this like a broken record, super proud of you for being comfortable in your own skin. Standing up for things you believe in always, even if it makes someone judge you. I love you so much for this and learn from it big time.

6. Last but not the least, appreciate you acknowledging that the social conditioning of not considering house work equally important for men is so fucking wrong and despite the conditioning you have got at your own home, you are actively trying to change it. I know I never fail to bring up any flaws on this bit, but hopefully we will both grow together in this department.

I love you so much. That’s the summary. 🙂

If you liked this, check out more of my latest posts:

The uncomfortable bits | Talking about my Wedding | #3 | Blogmas 12

I have written about my wedding here and here. If you go to these posts, you would realize that I was very keen on logging all details about my wedding on the blog. I’ll also tell you the reason. For the longest time, i have loved reading wedding blogs. I love wedding planning to bits, and I had wanted to cover all details of my own when it happened. However, even when I was typing those above linked posts, I knew that something would stop me from continuing with a well-planned wedding series. I am going to address that something today.

I went through a super tensed time when I was getting married and to think that we were both lucky to have a wedding of our dreams, a sort of unachievable dream, i.e. getting married in the mountains, it’s pathetic that I was so tensed that I find it difficult to recall happy memories from those two days which should have been a happy vacation.

The funniest but also the sad bit? Most of it seems like nothing when I look back. I mean not nothing, nothing but, you know, not worthy enough to be that tensed that you don’t enjoy your own wedding, which, by the way, should be your top most priority if you are getting married. This is also what most people end up not doing.

I’ll give some basic idea on why I was so tensed. Just so it’s recorded here and even the reader is involved. 🙂 The thing is, like I mentioned, I love wedding planning and the stress was nothing to do with any logistics or wedding planning related stuff. In fact, i remember i got my day 1 function’s outfit right before leaving for Mussoorie, the destination for our wedding, and I had picked some random jewellery to go with it, thinking that I’ll take a call after reaching what jewellery to mix and match. You know what i am saying? I was not so worried about these things.

The cause of my worry was an amalgamation of all the various rows and fall outs my extended family kept having. It’s not unheard of in Indian weddings. It’s also pretty common that the bride and groom’s sides will have many disagreements (which also happened but it was not as stressful as the first cause, plus I have to give it to Rahul for how much he went out of his way to take care of this part so that I am least affected). But the first part, which is my extended family’s fall outs, is something that took all my strength to deal with, emotionally. I know now that it’s not that big a deal maybe. Or even if it is, i just need to make peace with the fact that you can’t make everyone happy. In fact, i was so uncomfortable with writing all this that I couldn’t write about my wedding until now, almost 3 years!! And I know I can’t move to the good part until i address this because despite all the good, amazing things, i don’t recall happy memories when I look back. I was tensed.

It started after our parents had met and formally announced things. we call it ‘Roka’. Since it was only our parents who met, some family members got offended that they weren’t made a part of this (my dad had phoned them about the meeting prior). After this, when parents started discussing next steps, Rahul and I were still making up our mind on the feasibility of a destination wedding. Why this thought even came is because we were both clear that we like the idea of a two-day vacation sort of scenario where everyone is staying put at one place and I have always loved the idea of getting married in the hills. But, anyhow, we hadn’t gone that far until this point. We were just thinking about a two-day plan and were adamant on not doing any ceremony right after the announcement. My dad, on the other hand, considered it very important that the extended family members meet. After a lot of to and fro, it was decided to have a small ceremony at Rahul’s parents new place. Since all of my extended family lives in North India, my dad didn’t want to put the pressure on people to travel to Surat for such a small ceremony. He just wanted to formally introduce the family members. So, what he did was book flight tickets for one person from each family entity to travel and attend the ceremony. i am not getting into why is this needed etc, but since he really wanted this, we went along. In hindsight, it would probably have been better to just invite people and leave it upto them as to who wants to travel, but the fact that he took the pain to book tickets for everyone without burdening them for travel was not at all appreciated. Instead of receiving congratulatory messages, I got such angry messages from my cousins about why they weren’t considered important enough to join and so on. I cried throughout my return trip after the ceremony. I don’t know how I would have felt if i was in their shoes but I know one thing for sure, no matter how much I don’t like the way things are done, i am not going to have a fall out on somebody’s important day. Its too toxic, doesn’t matter if it’s out of love.

Things just went downhill from here until the two days of the wedding festivities that happened months later. Yes, even the day right before those two days, people were picking stuff to complain about and I am pretty sure that this would not have been me. I would never complain so much about logistics etc on somebody’s important day, not just wedding. I don’t want to put that much added pressure on someone, and here, people were specifically calling me to crib about things like why is xyz not invited. I mean, if you are an Indian, you know how it is. How everyone has an opinion. My problem is just that you should be more considerate before you decide to bother someone who is in the midst of hosting something. I am just thankful that on the actual two days of the main event, everyone had a lot of fun & no quarrels ensued on those two days.

I am not going to nit-pick this topic further, i just wanted to get it out of my system before I post about fun wedding stuff. Although, (i know i am writing this for the third time in this post), its just sad that looking back I recall all the tension this caused in my head while i should be recalling happy moments. The only time when I was totally in a blissful and happy mental state was during our dance performance on day 1 (which was engagement and sangeet).

I can’t say why but this has taken a lot of guts for me to write down. Do share your thoughts when you get to reading it. 🙂

Things I mandatorily require in my friends’ weddings | Blogmas 4

Wedding season in India is in full swing, especially since 2020 was a dull year for many in this respect. Being a serial wedding attendee right now and having planned our own, I and the husband have carved out some serious principles on what makes us enjoy a wedding the most :D. This post is absolutely meant for fun, so feel free to add your principles

  1. If its a typical Indian wedding, it has to be an event outside of our base location: This is simple, it makes the event look more like a vacation.
  2. If the first is getting fulfilled, then it should be a two day or more affair (for full vacation vibes). otherwise I would rather have me traveling to various parts of Delhi NCR during peak wedding season only for a day please. I know I can stay over near to the wedding festivities if there are more days, but it just isn’t the same. When you are in an outstation wedding, there is an entire wedding party accompanying you there and the vibe just gets different.
  3. If it wasn’t clear until now, weekends would be great! I know I can take leaves for a close friend’s wedding, but weddings on weekdays mean some of your friends will not be on leave. Weekdays are the best as they ensure maximum attendees!
  4. Aside all this, I have not been to many day wedding events but I think an afternoon wedding party in Delhi winters would be so perfect! So if you are getting married in Delhi, here’s a good cue for you. 😀

151|Talking about my Wedding|#1

Yes, as some reading my past posts figured, I am married. Those of you who follow me on Instagram also know. For the longest time, I have been meaning to write down about my wedding and things in general leading up to my marriage and afterwards. In fact, I wanted to start writing about the wedding bit before it happened itself. As it always happens with Indian weddings though, there is a lot on your plate to handle, especially if you are anything like me – too involved in every decision – you simply do not see a moment to sit back and write. Moreover, I had just joined a new job 2 months before my wedding which is very hectic.

So, here we are now. My job hasn’t got any less hectic, but something else has happened: Even when I was in the moment of the wedding, I could feel just how quickly everything is happening, I was almost thinking what’s the point of buying this wedding lehnga when you barely wear it for a couple of hours. 😛 And, now, our wedding pictures have come which I am finding extremely unsatisfactory (compared to my expectations). Especially because we had a hill wedding, a dream quite difficult to fulfill, and to know that the location hasn’t been utilized nicely in pictures by the photographer is more than quite a bummer.

So, even though I have quite a lot of pending office work right now, I am just starting off writing about my wedding as much as possible because it even felt like a blur when it was happening and I am scared of the pictures. I want to document each & every detail on the blog.

Looking forward 🙂