A Busy November Update

I knew since a long time that I am going to have a busy November. I looked up to it with every ounce of excitement. You know why, right? Its the wedding season in India and that is kind of my favorite “festive” period. 😀

However, November turned out to be busier that I expected and it meant a truck load of work for me before I even get to the point of piling on Gol Gappas in Indian weddings.

I am going to write everything that down in November below. If it sounds like a lot on top of a full time job, that’s because it.

So, it started with my SIL’s family and MIL visiting us impromptu. Basically, they were on a trip to Rishikesh and Badrinath and we were asking them to take a halt while going back to Surat. They initially didn’t agree and eventually ended up making an impromptu halt. We were just back from a wedding right then and since my SIL was staying over properly for the first time, it was less of a chill family time at home and more of a tourist-y going around the city. Hence, it got a busy week.

Right when it ended, I had a business trip to Vietnam again. On my way back, I ended up missing my flight because of some fuck up and even my luggage didn’t arrive on time. It was truly a bad day, that i didn’t see coming at all. 😦 I was howling on the airport like an idiot.

To top it all, long ago I had decided to take over a fun but very time intensive task of hand painting a sari for my cousin who’s getting married in a few days from now on. Of course, I knew how happy I would be doing this task and how happy she would be too, but I so didn’t see it for the effort it requires. 😀 Also, I didn’t manage to even start on it until I came back from Vietnam. I had all these months I mean, but still. I am happy that I didn’t let this ambition die a slow death and did use my previous weekend entirely for doing this start to finish. There’s a sneak peek for you at the end.

I would also say I had a very fulfilling busy November, because as long as its not irritating or monotonous work making me busy, I am up for it sometimes. 😀

But what did I miss out on due to the busy November?

  1. I haven’t been reading at all, like at all since probably more than 2 months. This is what happens when I get into the loop of a boring book. Instead of pulling myself out with an alternative, I just continue being the phone addict that I am.
  2. With busyness comes the drive to avoid working out as much as possible and I have been successful in that. Not gonna see me in that jawline I wanted for the weddings I guess. 😀
  3. As expected, this blog suffered the most. I obviously didn’t do any of the planned posts in a long while, but more importantly, I am lagging behind in my book posts. Something I am going to regret the most if not done on time. It matters a lot to me that I get in all the book posts before the year ends.
  4. Getting a new outfit: Please don’t be too quick to judge that I am one of those tone deaf people who get a new outfit whenever they have an event to attend (I know I sound more judge-y than you :P). In fact, I have managed to take a lot of use out of my wedding trousseau but that’s also the reason why I had planned on getting a new outfit this time. I buy anything after a lot of thinking, so I had some specific ideas in mind. I didn’t get the time and frankly I was lazy. So, I am just going to re-wear a lot of outfits which I love, but I have been sort of bored with, since I have attended a lot of weddings and stuff since my own.

If you made it till here, give me your November update. 😀

A sneak peek of the hand-painted organza sari 😀

The uncomfortable bits | Talking about my Wedding | #3 | Blogmas 12

I have written about my wedding here and here. If you go to these posts, you would realize that I was very keen on logging all details about my wedding on the blog. I’ll also tell you the reason. For the longest time, i have loved reading wedding blogs. I love wedding planning to bits, and I had wanted to cover all details of my own when it happened. However, even when I was typing those above linked posts, I knew that something would stop me from continuing with a well-planned wedding series. I am going to address that something today.

I went through a super tensed time when I was getting married and to think that we were both lucky to have a wedding of our dreams, a sort of unachievable dream, i.e. getting married in the mountains, it’s pathetic that I was so tensed that I find it difficult to recall happy memories from those two days which should have been a happy vacation.

The funniest but also the sad bit? Most of it seems like nothing when I look back. I mean not nothing, nothing but, you know, not worthy enough to be that tensed that you don’t enjoy your own wedding, which, by the way, should be your top most priority if you are getting married. This is also what most people end up not doing.

I’ll give some basic idea on why I was so tensed. Just so it’s recorded here and even the reader is involved. 🙂 The thing is, like I mentioned, I love wedding planning and the stress was nothing to do with any logistics or wedding planning related stuff. In fact, i remember i got my day 1 function’s outfit right before leaving for Mussoorie, the destination for our wedding, and I had picked some random jewellery to go with it, thinking that I’ll take a call after reaching what jewellery to mix and match. You know what i am saying? I was not so worried about these things.

The cause of my worry was an amalgamation of all the various rows and fall outs my extended family kept having. It’s not unheard of in Indian weddings. It’s also pretty common that the bride and groom’s sides will have many disagreements (which also happened but it was not as stressful as the first cause, plus I have to give it to Rahul for how much he went out of his way to take care of this part so that I am least affected). But the first part, which is my extended family’s fall outs, is something that took all my strength to deal with, emotionally. I know now that it’s not that big a deal maybe. Or even if it is, i just need to make peace with the fact that you can’t make everyone happy. In fact, i was so uncomfortable with writing all this that I couldn’t write about my wedding until now, almost 3 years!! And I know I can’t move to the good part until i address this because despite all the good, amazing things, i don’t recall happy memories when I look back. I was tensed.

It started after our parents had met and formally announced things. we call it ‘Roka’. Since it was only our parents who met, some family members got offended that they weren’t made a part of this (my dad had phoned them about the meeting prior). After this, when parents started discussing next steps, Rahul and I were still making up our mind on the feasibility of a destination wedding. Why this thought even came is because we were both clear that we like the idea of a two-day vacation sort of scenario where everyone is staying put at one place and I have always loved the idea of getting married in the hills. But, anyhow, we hadn’t gone that far until this point. We were just thinking about a two-day plan and were adamant on not doing any ceremony right after the announcement. My dad, on the other hand, considered it very important that the extended family members meet. After a lot of to and fro, it was decided to have a small ceremony at Rahul’s parents new place. Since all of my extended family lives in North India, my dad didn’t want to put the pressure on people to travel to Surat for such a small ceremony. He just wanted to formally introduce the family members. So, what he did was book flight tickets for one person from each family entity to travel and attend the ceremony. i am not getting into why is this needed etc, but since he really wanted this, we went along. In hindsight, it would probably have been better to just invite people and leave it upto them as to who wants to travel, but the fact that he took the pain to book tickets for everyone without burdening them for travel was not at all appreciated. Instead of receiving congratulatory messages, I got such angry messages from my cousins about why they weren’t considered important enough to join and so on. I cried throughout my return trip after the ceremony. I don’t know how I would have felt if i was in their shoes but I know one thing for sure, no matter how much I don’t like the way things are done, i am not going to have a fall out on somebody’s important day. Its too toxic, doesn’t matter if it’s out of love.

Things just went downhill from here until the two days of the wedding festivities that happened months later. Yes, even the day right before those two days, people were picking stuff to complain about and I am pretty sure that this would not have been me. I would never complain so much about logistics etc on somebody’s important day, not just wedding. I don’t want to put that much added pressure on someone, and here, people were specifically calling me to crib about things like why is xyz not invited. I mean, if you are an Indian, you know how it is. How everyone has an opinion. My problem is just that you should be more considerate before you decide to bother someone who is in the midst of hosting something. I am just thankful that on the actual two days of the main event, everyone had a lot of fun & no quarrels ensued on those two days.

I am not going to nit-pick this topic further, i just wanted to get it out of my system before I post about fun wedding stuff. Although, (i know i am writing this for the third time in this post), its just sad that looking back I recall all the tension this caused in my head while i should be recalling happy moments. The only time when I was totally in a blissful and happy mental state was during our dance performance on day 1 (which was engagement and sangeet).

I can’t say why but this has taken a lot of guts for me to write down. Do share your thoughts when you get to reading it. 🙂