Things about Rahul I never want to forget

Anniversary Letters to Rahul | 3

/ Srishty / Leave a comment

Keeping up with my procrastination tradition, writing this 3 days after my wedding anniversary. 🙈

Also, i think it’s going to be more of a blog post this year than a letter form. As i think i am addressing it more as a broadcast message, rather than a letter to him. Does this mean i should change the tradition to make it more private? I don’t know, we will see that next year.

So, i was discussing with Rahul what to write to him this year as otherwise it may end up similar to last year and he just randomly mentioned a gibberish point i should highlight – this year I started wearing leopard print pyjamas! Totally unrelated, but i got gifted a set of animal print pyjamas by someone on my anniversary and i didn’t have the heart to tell them to exchange it. Also, i was in need of new night wear so i just went ahead with wearing it. As you may have guessed, i hate animal prints, so it’s quite a new thing for me and Rahul made sure to highlight it as a “new” thing. That boy noticing clothes or the discomfort with them is a big and fun deal! 😀

Gibberish aside, it’s worth mentioning few things i cherish the most in this relationship. So, here’s to that:

1. I feel like the luckiest person when I realize that for helping each other’s growth as we physically grow in age, we are okay to critique anything we notice the other doing wrong. I know it sounds petty that I noticed it by observing other people when they kind of continue entertaining their partners immaturity to avoid confrontation, but it still made me be thankful for the honesty in this relationship.

2. Despite the first point, i know you will always be there to calm me when even something totally irrational is bothering me. Of course, you will have to hear it from me that you are not empathetic as you don’t relate, but then it must be even more difficult for someone to do what you do when you don’t relate.

3. I am more than grateful for all the trips we took together. The means to take them, the fact that we managed to do some of those on whim and the rest, just truly grateful. Only a side note for you – be as excited as me about food 😀

4. Just like last year, it’s important to mention what truly makes my life better. It sounds very text book like, but it’s true that the little things on a daily basis is what matters – walks at night, snatching common time during office hours to grab a cup of tea together, oiling each other’s hair, watching stuff together.

5. as i keep saying this like a broken record, super proud of you for being comfortable in your own skin. Standing up for things you believe in always, even if it makes someone judge you. I love you so much for this and learn from it big time.

6. Last but not the least, appreciate you acknowledging that the social conditioning of not considering house work equally important for men is so fucking wrong and despite the conditioning you have got at your own home, you are actively trying to change it. I know I never fail to bring up any flaws on this bit, but hopefully we will both grow together in this department.

I love you so much. That’s the summary. 🙂

If you liked this, check out more of my latest posts:

Things about Rahul I never want to forget #2

/ Srishty / 1 Comment

Disclaimer: I have copied the idea for this series from Haathi Time (who has now made her blog private) and I have taken permission from her to use the same title as hers. This series is about day-to-day things that my husband ends up doing which turn out profound for me and I would recall them here.

Rahul has the best advice for me, whether I take it or not.

This is just as true for a life changing event versus something like taking a bath.

Take for example, this very random scenario. Something most of you won’t even count as advice. This one time I was complaining to Rahul just how much I hate myself for eating chips almost everyday and I just can’t seem to stop. For more context, go here. I went on and on about this ‘problem’ of mine and how I never learn. The best part is that Rahul didn’t pause me even once and continued listening to this pointless rant and, in the end, he simply said – “Don’t buy chips then! It’s that simple”.

This is it. This is the point of this post. Sure, we are in an embarassing situation where we sometimes have to tell friends who are coming over to buy themselves chips/chakna on the way, unless we are ordering them. But my chips consumption has reduced a lot. I only order them or go specifically to the market nearby when I really can’t do without them. 😀

Things about Rahul I never want to forget #1

/ Srishty / 5 Comments

Disclaimer: I have copied the idea for this series from Haathi Time (who has now made her blog private) and I have taken permission from her to use the same title as hers. This series is about day-to-day things that my husband ends up doing which turn out profound for me and I would like to recall them here. The first one in the series which happened in 2018 & is since in my drafts:

This is about the time I was sent abroad on a business trip. I am not mentioning the place on purpose to keep identity of people involved ambiguous (some of my friends from those days read this space).

Okay, so, I mentioned business ‘trip’ because it was too sudden and proposed to me as a short stint. I realized upon going there that this could go long and, as it later turned out, I had to actively try to not let it be permanent. The reason I am mentioning all of this is to highlight the fact that I wasn’t super ready to move at that time and I had just been out of another situation where I felt depressed due to being lonely while working in a foreign city. This time, I had mentally prepared myself to enjoy the most and have a great time. That last situation had made me a stronger person and also someone who treats such opportunities with respect. Instead of being sad, I was all ready to have a good time and I was open to forging some genuine friendships. It later proved to be a very memorable experience where I met some amazing people and the only regret I have is of not being this open in my previous similar stint.

As I was saying, this time was going very well and I was always open to meet new people when on one of these days, I got invited to a casual hangout at a bar with some office colleagues. Now this was a setting where all the people were a bit older than me and there was no other female. Just to be clear – the no female or the age thing matters to me only when I am in a group of almost strangers or acquaintances. This was a case of acquaintances and since it’s colleagues, you don’t want to be in a weird situation later on.

It was no big deal either way, whether I went or not. It was only a casual hangout. But when you are on your own in a new place where you are yet to have your comfort zone friends, you treat every social interaction with new people with a dubious eye. I was planning to cancel as I didn’t want to have any sort of embarrassing or weird situation with older colleagues to come out of this. Before cancelling, I just thought of calling Rahul up to talk about this and this is what I said – “I am thinking of not going, as these people are older than me. What would they think if I go out drinking with them? What if I end up saying something that would make me an office joke or something?”

And this is what Rahul had to say – “How does it matter? If they think anything bad of you, that means their mind is skewed a certain way. What are you so worried for?”

And this has stayed with me. I know, I know, these are very simple things to say but things that I end up forgetting a lot too. In that moment, this talk made me very aware of the fact that we let people get away with being judgmental and impact our life decisions. I wanted to go because I wanted to have a good time but the fear of being judged wasn’t letting me. In hindsight, I think one thing I admire the most about Rahul is his security in being himself, he will not act a certain way just because he is in a certain setting. (it’s a different story that he will go completely mum when he doesn’t like the setting). But I admire his comfort with being himself while people can judge all they want. 🙂